Dear Fat Mum
Congratulations on completing 1 year attending a slimming class, well done on losing some weight and maintaining it.
But what happened, what has gone so wrong?
Why are you still so FAT? (I wish I knew)
You are how old, 45, my goodness woman, that is half your life gone, yes gone never to be got back!
Are you happy, are you, do you have body confidence, do you like yourself? (define happiness, actually don’t because No is the answer)
What are you doing, wasting the weeks, months and years of your life, yes I said wasting them! (not thought about it)
What you do not think you are lovable, you do not deserve to find someone special, for you are alone are you not.
Are you a good parent, what kind of upbringing are you instilling on your children, are you proud of yourself?
Do you enjoy being a mum? (not as I thought I would, how I dreamed for years it would be, it isn’t all fun)
Where do you see yourself in one more year, just another year older surely and still the sad fat girl.
How do you feel seeing so many people be successful in achieving their goals, be it in dieting, running marathons, climbing career ladders. (Very proud and pleased for them all, but also just a little envious too)
What did you think you would be doing at 45 when you were younger, have you ever been happy with yourself? (I guess and hoped and dreamed, I would be sharing life’s journey with a partner, oh how I wished for that)
How do you cope being a lone parent, not easy is it, but you make it harder for yourself, you do know all this is self inflicted do you not. (Yes, yes I know it is all my own fault ultimately, for as adults we are all responsible for our own futures)
When you look in a mirror what do you see, when you look at a photograph how do you feel? (grossed out and unhappy)
Your home, I mean come on is it a home, is it, is it somewhere you relax is it? (it is a reflection of my inner self, unhappy and depressing)
What do you do for a living, for work, what would you like to be doing?
How do you feel when you ask your children what they would like to be when they are older. (sad when they say they would like to do what I am doing)
What would you wish for your children? (for bright futures, great educations and an interest to learn and make the most of life and life’s experiences)
Where do you hope they will be, how will they get there, when you are not a good role model.
Back to body image Fat Mum, how will you feel when your daughters turn out like you? (very sad)
Dear Fat Mum, it is OK to call you that is it not, for that is what you are, a lazy fat mum, a tired, lazy, fat girl, a boring, tired, lazy, fat girl.
Hey you, yes you, where is your life going too?
Hey Fat Girl, where will YOU be in a months time, 2 months time, a years time?
Hey you, yes you, the tired, bored, boring, lazy, lackluster, Fat girl, do you care? (Yes, yes I really do care)
Are you living or existing? (existing)
Are you the best you can be? (No)
What are you doing to help your own children?
I am wondering if maybe you are just a bit stupid too, for no one in their right mind, would be so fat and inwardly unhappy with themselves, would they!
Ambition, dreams, come on Woman, wake up, smell the coffee and DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS.
What are you going to be doing in a year?
You would like to wear dresses would you, what with your fat gut, come on get a grip, you will look like a elephant in a tent, 12 months pregnant or just a round ball of fat.
Love, what is that fat girl, what is it hey, you love your children do you, so why do you not help them to be better people, you love others do you, how can you, when you do not love yourself.
Why are you wasting these years, why are you physically abusing your own body, what will it take for you to change! One day it might be too late, one day your children may just grow up and never meet the girl inside, hey you know that girl hiding away inside that fat ugly body of yours, why have you shut her away, why have YOU done this, why not let her out!
Time does not stand still, time as we grow older, seems to go so much faster, one season leads to another into another and then into a new year, another year older, no more wiser though.
It is time to stand up, be accountable to YOURSELF, face up to some challenges and change YOUR future, so that your children have a better chance of a better future, Stop wasting time, stop dithering, making excuses, stop eating, drinking all the wrong things, take note, only I can change me, only I am responsible for my future and setting an example to my children, who are growing up so fast.
I joined Slimming world one year ago and I started at the weight of 19st 3lbs, which is 122.5kg yes very colossal obese.
1 year later almost to the day, I weighed in at 17st 3lb so a total loss in 52weeks of 2 stone or 12.7kg which either means slimming world is not working for me or I am not following it at all, I admit I have not been following it. Added up it has cost me £220 for attending the sessions every week for the year, but the positive news if any is that I haven’t gone back up and over what I started at, right now I am clinging to that fact.
I need to pull my socks up, sort my own life out, I want some time out, everything seems such a mess, such a muddle, but I would rarely admit that, to the outside world, I want to come across as a self sufficient woman, a lone parent who manages to balance it all, only I am lying if truth be told!