Reality of Christmas as a lone parent
I do not know what other lone parents feel but my reality of Christmas is moody. I am going to attempt explaining my mood over the festive season.
It started with such positivity, joy in bringing the magic of Christmas to our home for my children, but as the days ticked by closer to Christmas, then the more my little black cloud came to settle over my head.
Season of glad tidings it is not, sadly and if totally honest, I struggle every year this year was no different and finally I need to try to sort through why this happens.
I do my best for my children wondering if it is enough, but so far no complaints they still enjoy this time of year, I am not sure if they are too young to realise that I am not at my best as try my hardest to disguise it.
I love Christmas and yet I HATE CHRISTMAS too, how conflicting can I be. Emotions have a lot to answer for.
Being a lone parent is hard work, it is challenging yet rewarding at times too, knowing these little people have only me to rely on is draining at times, knowing I am the only one to financially support my family is an extra weight I deal with now, but love my family so very much I would go to the ends of the world for them.
As a self employed person, childcare becomes an issue in the school holidays, part of the reason I work doing what I do, but alas this time of year money is always tight, which I guess does not help with my mood and feeling so low with the constant battle of balancing our finances.
Christmas this year was done on a tight budget.
Actually a positive is that the dinner went well, everything was easier though I forgot the Yorkshire puddings for the children, I can live with that.
We enjoyed a ham, as found a meat all my children eat and enjoy and my mother who joined us does not eat turkey or chicken and to me Beef just does not cut it for Christmas dinner.
I remembered Christmas Crackers on Christmas eve thankfully as it would not of felt the same without them.
The children did not receive the latest flashiest trends, they did me proud as asked for so little, I loved them so much more than I can believe for the fact that they expected so little.
Anna had asked for two things a new scooter and a note pad, Edward asked for a nurf gun and Isabella did not request any one item. As a surprise I made them all up arts and craft boxes, that held their own glue, scissors, paints, pens, colouring pencils. I even collected a lot of recycling for them to be able to use in creating genius art works.
Every year I buy Christmas pudding and it sits until the new year not eaten, I must not buy one next year.
New Year’s Eve
So I survived Christmas albeit we have stayed at home inside for the most part hibernating away, we had a lovely Boxing day with my sisters family all coming round to mine to celebrate together as now happens most Boxing days as I have the space for all 4 of her children and their families to get together.
Today my house is a bombsite, it is New Year’s Eve and I am feeling all melancholy and trying to be positive about the year ahead.
I have been invited out, part of me does not want to go at all, used to staying in alone with the children in bed, but perhaps it will do me good to go and celebrate the new year arriving with friends.
I have so much to do, as would like to start the New Year with my home clean and tidy so will be on a mission today.
Right here is some of my ramblings on why Christmas is not always the best time of year for a lone parent, onwards and upwards from this day forward.
If I could afford it I would take my little family away for Christmas next year, though the Christmas Blues would probably follow me be worth a chance to see if they vanish.